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This is Why You Should NOT Talk to Strangers

July 4, 2013

(Originally posted on Facebook, October 29, 2012)

So I am walking my 6 month old pup Zorro… picking up after he does his business… and some old guy stops to chat WHILE I AM PICKING UP SHIT. Who would do that? “I picked up after my lab for 11 years” he says as if I should be mightily impressed, then makes cooing sounds at the dog. So Zorro got all excited and started jumping around and smeared shit all over his foot and the sidewalk… I almost punched the stupid old prick.

Then as I am glowering at that shitclown moron a marshmallow lady on the other side of the street starts talking about how much he has grown. That’s what puppies do, you… Jabba the Trollop… Meanwhile Zorro is hopping around trying to jump on me with his shitty feet.

I think I hate people.

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